Getting Ready for Reunion

WP HS 40 yrs

August 8 is rapidly approaching.

My 40th High School Reunion.

How can it be that?

Did I blink?

Did I slip into some kind of Brigadoon?

Am I really staring at turning 60 in two short years?

So many questions. So little time.

Some days I feel like I’ve lived five different lives, and then it’s like I haven’t lived at all.

One of the ways I sort through thoughts and feelings is to put the words out in front of me. I do my best thinking out loud.

Today’s Reunion Thought: Angst Revisited

WP HS no more angst

Definition: noun
1. a feeling of dread, anxiety, or anguish.

I will never forget walking up the sidewalk by what was then the practice field. It was wide and long…very long, and I was having trouble breathing.

I was sure I would never forgive my father for uprooting me from the place where I felt like I was finally starting to connect.

I didn’t know anyone here. I was sure no one would ever want to know me.

Mustn’t cry. But I wanted to cry and to run. Life was over. I was sure of it.

WP HS crowded halls

And so began the awkward angst-filled dance called High School. All the struggles with wanting to fit in, wanting to be liked and loved. The only moments when I didn’t feel alone were the moments when I happened to sit with a girlfriend in the bathroom weeping over the latest break-up. “What’s wrong with us?” we would cry.

Oh the battles with the monster “Enough.” Never smart enough. Never thin enough. Never enough.

WP HS coffee

It wasn’t until many years later when I got together with two friends from the ‘Burg and listened to them that I realized how un-unique my feelings were.

I’ve been doing some online reading about the experiences of others as they struggled with the whole reunion battle. Should I go? Why bother?

It seems the older we get the greater the need to look back. Who would have thought that what lies ahead would hold scarier moments than first loves won and lost, first jobs, and first wings of freedom.

Someone likened going to a reunion to getting a ‘do over.’ I can live with that. I’ve been living my do over for several years. And some of that process and growth has actually been helped by unexpected connections I’ve made on Facebook.

Here’s what I’ve decided: Life has been good. I have had my share of challenges, and enough disappointments, failures, and shame for three people–not that I was trying to hoard it. But my focus here on out is where it needs to be. I’m counting my blessings and thanking my God, especially that my dad yanked me away from where I was comfortable and planted me somewhere I could flourish.

So to the class of 1975, let’s enjoy this occasion.

WP HS 40 acronymn

Book Review: Rearview 7 Hours

Rearview: 7 Hours
Mike Dellosso
121 pages

Unsettled. That’s how I felt when I finished reading this book. I started reading it and I couldn’t put it down. I felt like I was watching a movie, you know the kind, where you yell at the TV screen, trying to tell the actors not to go down in the basement or up in the attic.

My family teases me that I use the word “intense” too much—but this book was intense. Not in an action packed sort of way, but I was aware of the clock ticking. No, come on, no more delays…time was running out.

Perhaps it was just the offer itself. Yeah, I think that’s really it. What would you do? What would I do? Chose seven hours to go back and relive, add seven hours now, or just die. People say you can’t have regrets and going back to change things can change more than you want to change. And could you live with that? One thought that grabbed my mind and heart was this: “If hope was good medicine, regrets were a disease, a viral infection that invaded every cell of the body and spread its poison, not at once but over time, gradually building toxicity until the whole of the life affected was consumed. (p. 86)”

The main character, Professor Dan Blakely, was very relatable. His feelings, frustrations, and fears made sense. He had it all, life looked like it was coming together and then someone wants to rip it away.

This was the first book I read by this author. He is an engaging storyteller. I know this, it will not be my last.

To comply with new regulations introduced by the Federal Trade Commission, please mention as part of every Web or Amazon review that Tyndale House Publishers has provided you with a complimentary copy of this book.

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