Finding Joy?

One of the saddest sights: the red truck, driven by my husband, heading back to Ohio.

Nelson and I had a wonderful visit. We worked on projects together. We cleaned out the shed (again). We cooked together. We laughed. We “attended” church together (online).

But today, he left for Ohio. He’s still needed there. And I’m needed here. It’s hard—I know, I’ve said that before. But doing the right thing isn’t always the easy thing.

When I left to go walk dogs at the shelter, he left for Ohio. I cried. He cried. We waved and blew kisses until we could no longer see each other.

After I was done at the shelter, I came out on the porch to work on my fall class syllabus and write a bit. Being out here made me happy because one of the projects Nelson completed was putting up the two fans (with lights). I can work out here because with the fan on the humidity is no bother! I love it.

Before I started this reflection, I read a post by a young writer who has a medical condition that makes life difficult when it flares. And she’s in a flare, but in spite of the pain and the medical questions, she was finding joy in simple things—like wearing a new t-shirt with the cutest donkey on it. And she asked the question, “Where do you find joy?”

My initial thought was that there was no joy in this day. But after a moment of quiet, I realized that’s not true at all. I just had a wonderful visit with my husband and the plan is for him to be back in December—for Christmas! I can sit outside, no matter the weather, because of these wonderful lighted fans. I was able to walk two dogs this morning, and get a bunch of doggie kisses from two dogs as well. I had a really nice talk with one of the other workers. And another checked on me since she remembered this morning might be difficult for me.

I need to be reminded sometimes that joy is not dependent upon my circumstances or even the situations I find myself in. For even in the darkest of times, if I will look or pay attention, be present in the moment, I can find reason for joy, and for peace.

On a morning like this, will I only see the red truck driving away, or will I look for the joys, the blessings that are here with me? And while December may seem a long way off, there will be multiple daily Facetime calls to keep us connected. Calls where questions can be asked, jokes can be told, and problems can be solved. And those connections hold their own special kind of joy.

I may not be able to “count it ALL joy” (James 1:3), but I can find joy in the moment. And I will live Moment by Moment.

Moment by Moment is an old hymn, a favorite of mine and Nelson’s. Here are the lyrics:

1. Dying with Jesus, by death reckoned mine;
   Living with Jesus, a new life divine;
   Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine,
   Moment by moment, O Lord, I am Thine.
   • Refrain:
     Moment by moment I’m kept in His love;
     Moment by moment I’ve life from above;
     Looking to Jesus till glory doth shine;
     Moment by moment, O Lord, I am Thine.
2. Never a trial that He is not there,
   Never a burden that He doth not bear,
   Never a sorrow that He doth not share,
   Moment by moment, I’m under His care.
3. Never a heartache, and never a groan,
   Never a teardrop, and never a moan;
   Never a danger but there on the throne,
   Moment by moment He thinks of His own.
4. Never a weakness that He doth not feel,
   Never a sickness that He cannot heal;
   Moment by moment, in woe or in weal,
   Jesus my Savior abides with me still. (Daniel W. Whittle)