I’m not sure whether God has an incredible sense of humor or just the most uncanny way of getting my attention, or both, but He did it again this morning in my quiet moments with Him.
It had been a rough morning. Perhaps you have these kinds of mornings: I felt fat and ugly and I was contemplating just wearing a Snuggie (think weird looking blanket thing with sleeves). I had made the mistake on this kind of morning of also stepping on the scales to check my weight. What I saw was quite disheartening. I have put back on lmost all the weight I had proudly worked so hard to take off during the summer. I was quickly sliding down a slippery slope into depression. I began thinking that I might need to stop at the grocery on the way to work and buy a big fat apple fritter to drowned my sorrows.
I didn’t stop. I did find a pair of sweat pants that were baggy enough to hide in. I got to work and while I was downing my egg sandwich on diet bread and dish of fruit, I decided to pull up a couple devotional readings.
The first devotional drew from Hebrews 6:1-2 and discussed how as believers we need to move from spiritual baby food to the meat of scripture so that we can grow strong in our faith. The second one I pulled up was based on King David’s words in Psalms comparing the Word to the wonderful sweetness of honey. Irony? Coincidence? I think not. God knew what my heart needed. And it sure wasn’t an apple fritter.
When I was losing the weight this summer I was being very intentional about my diet. I counted everything and journaled each calorie, carb, and fat. I was also exercising on a daily basis and in a variety of ways. I felt good. And I was starting to look better. But I started to get lazy and I took my eyes off the prize. I began to reward myself with the poisonous things that I had been cutting out of my diet. Then right on schedule I developed plantar faceitus. It became too painful to exercise. I had some chest pains so llowed fear to park my bike. Then I caught a cold that cut my breathing way back. Of course I became depressed as I watched the numbers on the scale creep back up, but I kept telling myself I would get back to doing what I knew. What I knew was that I knew better.
What I also knew is that what was happening to me physically mirrored what was also happening to me spiritually. I carry my Bible and my journal with me everywhere, and I have great spiritual apps downloaded on my phone and wonderful sites constantly running on my Twitter feed. But having these things is not enough. Being satisfied with appearing pious is like spiritually drinking poison.
Thankfully I woke up feeling fat and ugly today or I might have continued drinking the poison and sliding down the slope. Thankfully I have enough strength and desire right now to begin eating healthier, both physically and spiritually. I’m probably going to have to endure a lecture from my doctor when I see her later this week. I deserve it. But I’m back on track. My head and my heart feel like they’re reconnected again and I’ll be able to put into practice the things that I know to be good for me both physically and spiritually.
I’m not saying I won’t eat another donut, but I’m not going to be looking for one to solve my problems. Hopefully with a more steady diet of the sweet honey of the Word, I’ll be better equipped to face the problems, avoid the poison, and live stronger with my God. That’s my plan and I’m sticking to it. (honey, sticky, sticking to it…get it?)