Simple Gifts

Okay. Raise your hand if you have a cell phone? Keep them up…I’m still counting.

Last week I finally went in to talk to the people at my Verizon store. I would rather visit the dentist.

There are very few, if any, workers there who know what life was like before cell phones. I feel like I’m immediately a “marked” woman: easy prey; unknowing victim; big sale! Ugh.

So I after I am accosted at the door, I am sent to the counter to talk to a young man. Very chipper and quite excited to get the geezer (not), he asks what he can do for me. I tell him, “Fix my phone.”

I go on to explain that my battery won’t hold a charge. He removes the battery and spins it on the counter. “Yep, that battery is really bad.” (Thanks captain obvious, that’s why I came in). He explains that the spinning demonstrates that the battery is warped and that’s why it’s not charging.

He proceeds to look up my account–our account, since we are bundled with younger daughter. He correctly informs me that my contract isn’t up until March. A fact that I knew and that doesn’t make me happy. I ask what I can do about this.

He walks me over to the magic wall of wonder. I guess I’m supposed to be all “Ooh” and “Ah”, but all I see are gizmos and gadgets I can’t afford and don’t need. He proceeds to explain my two options–both of which cost way too much and don’t fix my phone. No, I need a new phone. Upgrade is the solution. I leave the store with his card and my bum phone.

Later in the day I tell my husband about my adventure. He asks how much a new battery costs. I tell him that was not an option that was given to me. He sighs and gets on Ebay. He orders me an $8 battery that will be here in three days. If that works–great! If not, we’ll consider another option. A new phone is not in the picture. And I’m way okay with that.

That battery came as promised. And works wonderfully. My phone should last until my contract is up.


Now where, you ask, is the daily grace in all of that?

Replacing the battery seemed like such an obvious and logical solution. I’m certainly no techo-genius, but even I came up with that one. And the whole thing dying shortly before my contract was complete was a fact that seemed quite suspicious to me as well.

As I drove home from the store, my phone making all sorts of odd beeps and chimes as I try to charge it, a phrase ran through my mind: not as the world gives.

Here’s the context of those words: Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27, NIV)

We typically hear these words at funerals. They are spoken there with intent of bringing comfort.

But all I could hear was: I do not give to you as the world gives.

The world wanted me to spend beyond my means. The world left me feeling badly about myself. The world avoided the simple solution.

Jesus does none of the above. Jesus invites me to be a wise steward. Jesus loved me so much he died for me. Through Jesus’ teachings, miracles, and example, we see over and over the value of individuals that society shunned or devalued (the ill, children, widows, women, and tax collectors). Jesus focused on the obvious, even though their eyes were blind and their ears shut to his message.

As you make your way into the minefield of holiday shopping and gift giving, I would invite you to carry this verse with you: I do not give as the world gives. The world wants you to spend. The world seeks to convince children that they don’t have enough, or good enough. Adults aren’t immune from this ploy of the deceiver either.

The message of the world is that things, more things, better things, improved things, new things will make us happy. But it’s a lie. Sorry. Here’s how I know it: this is not how God gives. Jesus neither. God gave the greatest gift in the form of a helpless baby, born in a stable or cave. There was a fanfare of sorts (cue the angelic choir), but the message was given to dirty, smelly, low-life shepherds.

NOW HEAR THIS: I’m not saying you have to change everything you do. I’m just asking you to consider…and invite God into your process. This isn’t simply an invitation to ask and apply the WWJD formula…but there is something to thinking about how Jesus would give and what he would give.

As I thought about this verse an old Quaker song came to mind:


Now those are some gifts I would like to find around my tree: freedom, the ability to bow and bend, and know I’m where I ought to be. Those are the gifts Jesus gives. I hope you find those this holiday and holy season.

Wondering and Wandering: A Prayer for New Seeing

“Lord, the calendar calls for Christmas. We have traveled this way before. During this Advent season we would see what we have never seen before, accept what we have refused to think, and hear what we need to understand. Be with us in our goings that we may meet you in you coming. Astonish us until we sing “Glory!” and then enable us to live it out with love and peace. In the name of your Incarnate Word, even Jesus Christ. Amen. From The Unsettling Season by Donald J. Shelby

The world we live in refuses to be seen with old eyes, in olden ways. What once might have brought comfort, pales before the high speed gods and goddesses of this age.

The RHWC (red-haired wonder child) and I spent a lot of time cuddling this weekend. I think he was getting sick and I need to hold onto him. He is 6yrs old and turning 7 in a little over a month. Everytime I thought about one of those kids in CT, I wept. I have three grandchildren who just turned 7 or will turn 7 next month. They may be onery, and frustrate their mommies, but they are innocent and I cannot fathom anyone thinking they would need to die.

In addition to hugging, the RHWC and I had a conversation about God. He has only recently begun to be open to matters of faith. Before we started attending our current “turch” (that’s how he pronounces it), he pretty much refused to go. This was very disconcerting to us. We are people of faith and we have prayed long, hard, and often for our children, grandchildren–our families in general. The RHWC turned a corner when he started to develop friends at our “new” church.
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On Saturday evening, we were cutting out paper snowflakes, and the RHWC asked, “Mema, don’t you think it’s weird to believe in God? I mean how can we believe in something or someone we can’t see?” “Oh buddy,” I thought to myself, “that is the million dollar question.” So after a brief discussion of faith, he weary of waxing theologically, and decided to watch some TV instead. The yellow theologian, Spongebob, I believe…

So it has been a week. I’ve been fighting illness and fatigue…please excuse my absense. I did call the doctor’s office, but there must be a lot of sickness going around, because I still haven’t heard back.

I love the prayer we started this post with. It’s one I could easily say everyday. I pray that what astonishes you is the goodness and grace of God and not the seemingly overwhelming power of evil. I pray that not even illness, evil, or fatigue will keep you from seeing his wonder, or finding him in all your comings and goings. Amen.

Wondering and Wandering: Silence

“Silence is the way to make solitude a reality. The Desert Fathers praise silence as the safest way to God. ‘I have often repented of having spoken,’ Arsenius said, ‘but never of having remained silent.’ One day Archbishop Theophilus came to the desert to visit Abba Pambo. But Abba Pambo did not speak to him. When the brethren finally said to Pamo, ‘Father, say something to the archbishop, so that he may be edified,’ he replied: ‘If he is not edified by my slience, he will not be edified by my speech.'” From The Way of the Heart by Henri J.M. Nouwen

As I have occasionally pointed out, I am an ESFP with ADD. I think out loud. I come from a loud family. I raised a loud family. My grandchildren, especially the red-haired-wonder-child (RHWC). My dogs are very loud. They bark at everyone that walks by (and a lot do) and all the squirrels that tease them from the trees (I would hate to see what happened if one of them fell into the dog pen). I worked in a factory where it was constant noise.

Oddly, over the past four years I have found great peace in the silence I find in my day job. No tv. No radio. The only sound is my occasional chime to remind me to play a game of Words with Friends. The little lady I stay with turns her hearing aids off so there’s not even much conversation when she ventures out of her room. And I’m really quite okay with that.

The RHWC is a boy–all boy. Long ago, hub and I decided that boys just have to make noise: sounds just have to come from little boys. Noise for noise sake. It reminds me of how Jesus described the way that the pagans just babble on when they pray. I don’t find any need to talk to hear myself talk–I just think out loud when I’m in conversation. Somewhere along the line I lost my need to talk.

The nice thing about that is that it makes lots of room to listen. To hear what others are saying…or not. To hear what God is saying…or not. I wonder how noisy it was in the stable…perhaps that why Mary sat quietly and pondered all these things in her heart.

Writing this just sent me to the bookshelf…I pulled out my copy of Oats “Nurturing Silence in A Noisy Heart.” More to come…

Wondering and Wandering: In Case You Really Wondered

“If you want God, and long for union with him, yet sometimes wonder what that means or whether it can mean anything at all, you are already walking with the God who comes. If you are at times so weary and involved with the struggle of living that you have no strength even to want [God], yet are still dissatisfied that you don’t, you are already keeping Advent in your life. If you have ever had an obscure intuition that the truth of things is somehow better, greater, more wonderful than you deserve or desire, that the touch of God in your life stills you by its gentleness, that there is a mercy beyond anything you could ever suspect, you are already drawn in the central mystery of salvation.” From The Coming of God by Maria Boulding

Yesterday morning our choir opened the service with a medley of songs. One of the songs in the medley was Pat A Pan. I had played this song many Christmases when I was a child, all the way through High School–I never knew it had words! Here are a couple of the verses (which happen to be very stuck in my brain since yesterday morning:
When the men of olden days
To the King of Kings gave praise,
On the fife and drum did play,

Tu-re-lu-re-lu,
Pat-a-pan-a-pan,
On the fife and drum did play,
So their hearts were glad and gay!

God and man today become
More in tune than fife and drum,
So be merry while you play,

The thought of us becoming more in tune with God probably stuck with me more than the song–although it’s there too. Being in tune, getting in tune, staying in tune, these are the essentials of Advent. The natural thing is to rush into the shopping, parties, and trappings of the holidays, but that leaves us missing the important spiritual components.

I’m much more of a minimalist when it comes to the external stuff. I want to focus on the God who comes…what will it take to clear your focus? How will you get in tune? Oh, don’t miss the mystery, the beauty, the gift.

Wondering and Wandering: Ah, Gentleness

“Compassion is expressed in gentleness. When I think of the persons I know who model for me the depths of the spiritual life, I am struck by their gentleness. Their eyes communicate the residue of soitary battles with angels, the costs of caring for others, the deaths of ambition and ego, and the peace that comes from having very little left to lose in this life. They are gentle because they have learned the hard way that personal survival is not the point. Their caring is gentle because their self-aggrandizement is no longer at stake. There is nothing in it for them. Their vulnerability has ben stretched to clear-eyed sensitivity to others and truly selfless love.” From Healing of Purpose by John E. Biersdorf

The older I get the more I treasure the “gentle” people around me. They are like the softness of a cashmere blanket wrapped around us, warming us with soft caresses. I sat and soaked in that image for a moment and then went back and read the quote…not an adequate image. But isn’t that just like us? We want to the softness without the process.

Right now there’s a Dick’s Sporting Goods commercial that left me needing a tissue the first time I saw it:

This of course reminded me of one of my favorite tidbits of literature: The Wisdom of the Skinhorse (“The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams)
“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

This proces and transformation are not something that we have to hunt for and try to accomplish all willy-nilly. Someone has offered to walk us through it, to teach us, to be with us all along the way:
Are you tired? Worn our? Burned out on religion? Come to me Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show
you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I
won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. Matthew 11:28-30 The Message

Jesus, the One we preparing to meet this holy season, the One who came as Immanuel (God to be with us), invites us to journey with him, to learn from him for he is gentle and humble of heart. Nothing much more humbling than the helplessness of a baby. Helplessness at any stage we might find ourselves.

Where does gentleness come from? From learning we don’t have all the answers, that we can’t do this on our own, and from learning to wrap our brain around how okay it is to be dependent.

We’ve already considered your IQ (imitation quotient), so now I’m wondering: how’s your GQ, your gentleness quotient?

Wondering and Wandering: Camel Swallowing

Swallowed any camels lately? In Matthew 23, Jesus is really coming down pretty hard on the religious establishment, the Pharisees. He calls them blind guides and hypocrites more than once in the tirade. Jesus seems very concerned that they attempt to make a really good presentation, but lack the inner substance to back it up. They were majoring in the minors and leaving the camel in the middle of the room unattended…and what a mess that ended up making of things!

How many of our homes are decorated for Christmas, both inside and out, but our hearts are sorely unattended to? How many parties and functions will we go to, dressed in our holiday best, but not even considering our spiritual attire? How many gifts will be purchased to impress spouses, lovers, kids and grandkids, bosses, and friends while the greatest gift we can give to the One who deserves it most will be either ignored or stretched so thin that little would even remain to give?

I read a post online by someone recently who was going on about how much they love Advent. They love the songs, the parties, the shopping, the eats. It made my heart sad. The purpose of Advent is not to get the world around us ready for the biggest gift giving day of the year. The purpose of Advent is to reflect on the greatest gift ever given and to be sure that our hearts are ready to receive it.

The Wisemen rode camels to find Jesus. That seems a much wiser thing to do than to swallow one and miss the Master.