Category: faith

Today!

God again set a certain day, calling it “Today.” Hebrews 4:7, NIV


I have been a procrastinator my whole life. I imagine if I checked with my mom she would tell me I was even late being born.
I wish I had a dollar for every time she would address my procrastinating with this bit of wisdom: Don’t put off ‘til tomorrow what you can do today. I remembered this as I read this passage in Hebrews.

Several times in scripture we are reminded that God’s word is today, now, this day. Our strength is being renewed day by day. The Israelites were fed manna daily in the wilderness. Jesus taught his disciples to ask for the daily bread and not worry about tomorrow because it has its own particular problems.


Just as clearly we then learn that Satan’s word is tomorrow. Moses asked when he wanted relief from the plague of frogs to which he surprisingly replied, “tomorrow.” Why wait? God can take care of it now? Makes no sense to me. So whether by procrastination, putting off until later, or worry about what tomorrow holds, Satan’s job seems to be to get us off focus of the present and presence of God in this moment right now.


As a counselor I encouraged families frustrated by negative behavior to consider that all behavior serves a purpose. This is even true of procrastination. Two primary purposes jump quickly to mind. First, we procrastinate or put off doing something in order to maintain control. I’m sure we’ve all seen how a three year old can dig in her heels in defiance. She doesn’t want to do whatever Mom wants. Even at her young age and diminutive stature she fights for some semblance of control. Sometimes it’s cute on a toddler—not so much on an adult.


The other purpose that procrastination serves is fear. I don’t do what I need to do because I’m afraid. Afraid I’ll fail. Afraid I won’t be perfect. Afraid I’ll disappoint. The way the twisted thinking goes is that if I don’t do anything then I can fail or disappoint. The problem with that is we don’t realize how often this disappoints those who are expecting us to do something. Bosses are frustrated when the job doesn’t get done. Teachers have little option but to fail us for not completing the assignment (or science fair project). And if I wait to the last minute and don’t have all I need to complete the task (whether it’s poster board or ingredients for class treats), then I can put the blame outside of myself. ..or at least try to.

While I am quick to assure others of this, I’m a little more reluctant to own it for myself. That doesn’t however make it any less true. I’m working to release my fears and my insane need to control everything. My family will tell you it’s been a series of pain-filled baby steps. It’s just not natural for me to surrender, not initially anyway. I know I will get there, but it’s a process for me. Thankfully God gives the strength to work on it each day, day by day, starting Today!

Ponderings

I’m sorry.

I have been writing.

Well, rewriting, anyway.

Right after the bombing and goings on in Boston, I wrote a response to some of the hate-filled things that I saw coming from people of faith…my faith. As a person who has been forgiven much, and one whose life has been characterized by peace-making, I was deeply troubled.
God seemed to be holding me to the thoughts because I kept coming back to the themes of love and brotherly kindness, grace and forgiveness—but even with that I just didn’t feel the release to post. It was as if it needed to percolate a little while longer.

Then this week in Cleveland three young women, who have been missing a decade or more, were found and freed. All of the newscasts on every channel have been totally dedicated to covering every detail over and over and over. As with Boston, it didn’t really matter if the news was new, it seemed to be necessary to repeat it.

One of the things I quickly noticed that the coverage in Cleveland had with the news coverage of the Boston disaster was a question that was being asked often and loudly: how could this happen? Why? I began to lift my voice and found myself asking the question the prophet Habakkuk asked as well: How long, Lord? How long will you allow evil to get the upper hand?

I wish I had an answer. God was pretty clear with Habakkuk that he wasn’t going to like the answer because in Habakkuk’s case things got much worse. God allowed the Babylonians to sweep in and take the Hebrew children captive. I can’t image that message preached very well.
Recently, while translating Ephesians from the Greek with a friend, we found ourselves in a discussion about predestination. Not a place I usually like to go, because I don’t get it. On the one hand there is abundant scriptural evidence for the lavish love of God, demonstrated in grace and mercy. But there is also the story of Job, the painful experience of Naomi, the unfair treatment of Joseph’s brothers, and all the misery Paul endured while trying to grow the church of Christ. History is full of examples of persecution—some of it even coming at the hands of the Church!
I do not understand why God allows his followers to suffer. I don’t know why, if God is all knowing (and I believe he is), he wouldn’t stop someone from committing destructive acts against another person. I realize that I often learn lessons best when they are hard, when they cost me. Hard lessons don’t seem to be solved by easy answers. I’ve found in most cases the tough questions continue to hang out there defying any answer at all.

This is as close to pessimism as I come. Because when I get this close I immediately turn the other way. I’m not foolish enough to belief that it’s going to go away just because I chose not to dwell on it. Realistically, though, I know that there is very little I will ever do to rid the world of evil. That being said there are still things I can and must do:

1. I will forgive. No one has ever gained anything good by harboring an unforgiving spirit. It is a poison that kills the one who carries it. Jesus was pretty clear that with the same portion we forgive others, we will be forgiven. I choose to be extravagant because I know how much I need.

2. I will pray for my enemies. I will not allow hate to percolate in my heart. I will lift them before the throne of grace.

3. I will thank God for all the circumstances in my life. Nowhere does it state in scripture that I will understand why things happen. Faith doesn’t exempt me from suffering. Both Peter and Paul are pretty clear that there is a measure of worthiness involved when we suffer. James takes it one step further by instructing the believers to count it all joy when trials enter into their lives.

4. I will hold onto my “nevertheless” faith. When the three Hebrew servants faced the fiery furnace, they were clear with the king that their faith was still strong, and even if God did not save them from the fire, nevertheless they would hold strong. Habakkuk put it this way:

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
And there are no grapes on the vines;
Even though the olive crop fails,
And the fields lie empty and barren;
Even though the flocks die in the fields,
And the cattle barns are empty,
YET I will rejoice in the Lord!
I will be joyful in the God of my salvation!
The Sovereign Lord is my strength! (Habakkuk 3:17-19a)

That’s a pretty bleak picture. It’s a pretty clear “no matter what” coming from the prophet.

Jesus was looking for that same faith in his disciples. At the very end of his time with them before the crucifixion, he looked at them and said: “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33, NLT)

Peace will not be found in this world. It only brings turmoil and trouble. Real peace can only be found in Jesus and the knowledge that he invites to a life that will go beyond this world.

I don’t feel like I solved any great mystery here. I’m still troubled by the quick judging and slow forgiving. But I feel more grounded. I am reminded what I need to hold onto, and what I am to let go—to give to God. And perhaps that will be enough. For now…it is.

Sometimes God Says No


Someone posted this question on Twitter: Do you get mad when God doesn’t answer your prayers?

I have a problem with the question.

It seems to me that the question assumes that God is always supposed to give me what I want. That doesn’t seem very loving.
What kind of parent would I be if whenever my grandson told me he wanted chocolate chip cookies for dinner I always said go ahead, eat the whole bag? No, because I love him I provide him with nutritious meals that include protein, vegetables, and fruit—most of the time anyway.

When Jesus taught the disciples about prayer he told them this story: 9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:9-11, NIV)”

Could it be that this is where the misunderstanding comes from? We hear Jesus say that God is the best father, he won’t trick us. No, he will always give “good gifts” to those that ask him. And we presume that those gifts are the goodies that we want, not necessarily the “good things” that we need. I think we would do better to hold up Romans 8:28 alongside this if we want a truer picture of God’s provision.

I think we make a similar type of mistake when we read Psalm 37:4: “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” At face value, this verse seems to promise that God will give me the things I desire. Over time I have come to believe that verse is promising something much different than my wishes for a nicer house, car, or even weight loss. When we delight ourselves with God, he becomes the desire of our heart and he is abundantly willing to give more of himself to us. When my focus is on him, then he can place in my heart the things that I need to be pursuing, desiring.

I just don’t think God is sitting on his heavenly throne waiting to dote on us like spoiled grandchildren. I believe that sometimes God answers our prayers with a resounding and emphatic, “No.” I also think that sometimes he tells us, “Not yet, trust me.” But when it’s right and in line with his plan, then the answer is, “Yes.”

I was visiting my mom in Arizona and we were going through a little tourist trap buying gifts for family and friends. I saw a tea towel that had this saying printed on it: God always answers our prayers. Sometimes his answer is yes, other times it’s no, and occasionally not yet. But there are times when God looks down at us and responds to our prayers with, “You’ve got to be kidding me!” It was kind of like the cap above, but a little more feminine. It made me laugh, but it also made me think about some of the crazy things I’ve prayed for. The first thing that comes to mind was when our younger daughter had a sledding accident and severely broke her wrist. As I ran be with her, I prayed: “Please God, don’t let it be her left wrist (she’s left handed).” I stopped in my tracks as I realized the absurdity of the prayer. As if God was going to say, “Oh no, I broke the wrong one,” and switch the break to the other arm.

What I learned that day is that my heart and my head were on two different planes. All I really wanted was for my daughter to be safe, to be okay, and I lifted her situation to the only one who could truly get her through it. Thankfully, I believe the Spirit was my perfect translator. While her it was her left wrist that was broken, her time of need gave us a little extra time to bond. She had been struggling with independence and not needing Mom to be sticking her nose in all her business. The broken wrist meant she needed me again. I didn’t see that one coming, but God knew.

No matter how God chooses to answer my prayers, I totally believe that he who knows me best and loves me most will always give me exactly what I need. It may mean that I have to adapt my prayers to follow Jesus example in Gethsemene: this is what I want God, but nevertheless, your will be done. How could I ever get mad at that?

20/20 Vision

In the first four chapters of Deuteronomy we find the account of the people of Israel poised at the edge of the Promised Land and their resulting fear. Several times Moses reminds them that God had promised them the land so they should act on the promise. The people lacked the faith to do so. Instead they asked Moses to send some scouts in to the land and come back to report what they saw. The plan seemed to make sense to Moses because he figured that the report would remind them of what they stood to gain and reinforce the need to act on the promise and take the land.

Reading about the tension that was rising between Moses and the people reminded what a difference perspective can make. Moses seemed incredulous that the people were so reluctant to move forward when God, the God of the universe, the God who had parted the Red Sea and cared for their every need in the wilderness, would fail to come through for them now. The people were equally mystified in Moses’ obvious lack of understanding regarding the impossibility of the situation. Sure, the land looked good, but the giants loomed that much larger. The two perspectives couldn’t be more diametrically opposed.

The whole thing sounded like the old proverb that you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. God can lead you to his promise, but he can’t make you believe it. The people were looking at the situation through the lenses of “what is” and it resulted in great fear. Moses was looking at the situation and seeing the great potential that awaited them.

What happens when you look at what is going on around you? When you consider the circumstances where you find yourself are you overwhelmed by what you see, or hope for what can be? In terms of MBTI, are you more of an intuitive or sensate? Are fixated on what you can draw from you situation with your senses, or do you find yourself stuck on the potentialities? Certainly we need balance in the two dimensions, but we will always more naturally lean to one response or the other.

So what about God? My first thought was that He must be a strong iNtuitive. After all, the grand quote about God is that with Him “all things are possible.” That, in fact, we can do all things through Christ (God incarnate) who strengthens us. Talk about potential!
But what about those of us who were born in Missouri? You know us, we are the descendants of Thomas: we need to see it to believe it. God created us with our wiring as it is, so there must value to be a sensory oriented person, one who makes decisions based on what ‘is’ not the illusive “what might be.” Here’s what I think. I believe that God created both ends of the spectrum not only so that we would balance each other, but so that we could be more balanced individually. One is no more valuable or “right” than the other. While understanding our personality is helpful to getting a handle on our behavior, it seems to me it would best to understand God better. We need to learn to take Him at His word, that we can trust Him to come through on His promises.

Here’s what I suggest you do if you find you’re coming up a little short in the trust department, if the task God is asking you to face seems full of giants. Flip to the end of the book. It’s okay. God won’t mind. When you read the end you find that we win. Now turn back to Romans, and catch how Paul describes your position: In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (Romans 8:37, NRSV) Oh, and here’s the one I really love. Find 2 Chronicles 20:20. Ezra leads up to this great verse by telling the people in verse 15: Do not fear or be dismayed at this great multitude; for the battle is not yours but God’s. Then he reinforces this with verse 17: The battle is not for you to fight; take your position, stand still, and see the victory of the Lord on your behalf. Then the 20;20 moment comes the next day when they get up and go out to battle, he tells them: Listen to me, O Judah and inhabitants of Jerusalem! Believe in the Lord your God and you will be able to stand firm. Believe in his prophets, and you will succeed.

Our dependence on God results in 20:20 vision. So whether you more naturally get focused on what is right in front of you or you jump into all the potentiality of the moment, your vision will be perfect when you trust God and take him at His word. That’s the response that makes the most sense, because if you read on in Deuteronomy you’ll find that it really didn’t go very well for those who gave into their fears. For them it was back out into the wilderness and they never were able to experience the blessings of the Promised Land. And all the possibilities of that kind of experience make me want to be sure I’m holding onto God’s perspective. How about you?

Reflecting:
-Are you struggling with a difficult situation? Are the Giants closing in?
-What promises are you clinging to? What promises do you need to find to hold on?
-You may not feel like a winner right now, but keep reminding yourself that the battle is God’s and he sees you as more than a conqueror!

My Poopy Life


The sweet little lady I care for sometimes has poopy accidents, on the way to the bathroom and in the bathroom. Today was on the way. As I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor, I started thinking about Brother Lawrence and his little book, “Practicing the Presence of God”. He came to understand his relationship with God in a whole new way as he scrubbed the floors in the monastery. I bet the other brothers weren’t leaving poopy piles on their way to chapel. Even still, I figured I needed to work on a more gracious attitude.


The more I thought about it, the more I realized, I have a really poopy life. When I get done cleaning up poopy messes at work, I go home and clean up the poop piles the pups have left around the yard. Then recently the grandson has had some issues with poop that have required my cleaning up the toilet and him. My gracious resolve was fading fast.

How was I going to deal with these crappy feelings about crap? Can a person actually be happy for poop? In a weird sort of way, I guess I am. I can be thankful that I’m cleaning up poop at work because It means I have a job. Not every day is poopy. Cleaning up after my sweet lady is okay, because I care about her and by minimizing the problem I help her hold on to the remainder of her dignity. Cleaning up after my dogs means I still have these furry companions. I love them, too. I love their eager welcome when I come home and how they clean up the messes I make on the kitchen floor. And I treasure that poopy little boy more than words can describe. Someday, a day coming way too soon, he won’t need his Mema to clean him up. I will treasure even the stinky moments I have now because it means he’s close enough to love on and spoil.

Poop happens. Some days more than others. One of my favorite stories is of two little boys put in two separate rooms where they found themselves knee deep in poop. The first boy stood in the middle of the room and cried while the second little boy started digging all around in the poop. When asked what he was doing he replied, “I’m looking for the pony. With all this poop, there has to be a pony in here somewhere.”

I am not a fan of poop. But I will keep looking for the pony.

Ready to Run?

Then the Lord answered me and said: Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so that a runner may read it. Habakkuk 2:2


I love Pinterest. Perhaps I enjoy it so much because I don’t have a personal Facebook page. Or maybe it’s because I have this deep, deep desire to be more creative and a love for yummy food. Whatever the reason, I thoroughly enjoy it.

I love the jokes too. Like: null

My daughter recently pinned a “joke.” There was a man kneeling and praying and the caption read: I don’t know about you but I have thought about running away more often now as an adult then when I was a kid. Can I get an amen?!

When we were foster parents, our foster boys often threatened to run away. Occasionally our daughters would make similar threats. To all of them I had two responses. First, I told them that they weren’t allowed to run away because if anyone was going to run, it was going to be me! If they persisted, I asked them if they wanted me to pack them a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The whole interchange generally ended with me reminding them that their problems would be here waiting for them when they returned.

I responded to my daughter’s pin by admitting I could relate and that’s why I go visit my mom in Arizona once or twice a year. The thought might make some cringe, but Arizona sunshine is a wonderful mood enhancer compared to the winter weary months of Ohio. When I’m there I have absolutely no responsibilities. I get to ride a bike morning and night and I play Scrabble until I can’t keep my eyes open. It’s an amazing preview of heaven for me. Just thinking about it makes me wish I could hop a plane right now!

Before I could get away from this whole thought of running away I sat and reflected for a bit. I pondered why we run away and what happens when we do.

It seems to me that we run when we don’t want to face what where we are and where we’re headed. We run when we’re afraid. I would like to suggest that running is not always a bad option. I know some people who run because they enjoy it. (As much as I admire them, I don’t think that I’ll be joining them any time soon.) The key, it seems is to be sure that you’re running for the right reason and that you’re running in the right direction. And scripture is pretty clear which way that is:

*I run the way of your commandments, for you enlarge my understanding. Psalm 119:32

*Let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us. Hebrews 12:1

*Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. 2Tim 2:22 NLT

What I especially love about Paul’s words to Timothy is that he is pretty clear what he and we should be running from and towards. Hmmm, maybe I will take up running after all!

Giving Anything Up For Lent?

I decided what I’m giving up for Lent.

Laziness and excuses. No seriously. I’ve held on tighter to these than chocolate, coffee, or soda pop. I have procrastinated and frittered away my time mindlessly surfing the internet or vegging in front of my TV long enough. So I intend to be more active, more intentional, and more focused

Now that doesn’t mean I intend to give up being still. On the contrary, I will be all the more diligent in making sure that I carve out my time in the Word and for intentional blocks of communication with God. I will continue to daily read/study in the following devotionals: The Daily Message, Designed for Devotion, and Sparkling Gems From the Greek. I will prepare for my Sunday School lesson a little bit each day, taking time to absorb more and cross reference material. I will take more time with material for Bible Study. I will seek God’s guidance for the speaking opportunities I have in April and diligently prepare for talks.

With regards to my writing: I intend to have three things ready to submit for BRMCWC contest (due by April 20). I will complete half of the devotions for “It’s About Time”. I will create the guidelines and format to be presented to the congregation for our Advent Devotional series. And I will publish at least once a week in both my blogs.
With regard to my health and fitness: I will do some form of exercise every day. I will return to the more structured eating plan we started last summer.

I haven’t strayed so far from any of these goals, but I have gotten terribly lazy. I find any and every excuse to not follow through. And not a one of them is truly legitimate. Not one.

And I will be accountable to you in all these matters. I believe accountability is absolutely necessary and far too easy to get out of in our current society. And oh, the irony of it! We are connected on every level, but lack the accountability to be better people. It’s a sad, sad thing.

I have long believed that most of the “sacrifices” made for Lent, are for show and fail to get to the heart of the matter—our heart and our relationship with God. Lent was designed and has continued through the ages to provide us with a ready-made opportunity to live more focused and intentionally. The very teachings of Jesus, how purposefully he was as he set his face to the cross should be our example.

So that’s how I plan to journey to the cross. Each time I try to turn to an excuse for doing what I know I need to do, I will confess, repent, and get back to the task. This journey is not for the faint of heart. I can’t be lazy…Jesus wasn’t. I’m following him.

How about you?

Turtles, Bruises, and Jelly Beans

Do Turtles Get Bruises?
I bruise easily. I have often said that if you look at me wrong I’ll end up with a bruise. Typically my bruises happen when I’m hurrying from here to there. I have a nasty bruise on my shin that I got when I ran full steam into a footstool. It was the “full steam” principle that got me to thinking this morning. I began to wonder: If I wasn’t in such a rush would my bruising be so bad? If I chose to go through life at a slower pace would I have less need for shin guards to protect me from life’s bumps and bruises? And that led me to ponder whether turtles get bruises.

Now the jump from bruises to turtles isn’t too far-fetched, in my brain, when you know that many years ago I served as a chaplain at a facility that worked with kids in out of home placement. During our summer program the activity therapist led a study that focused on Native American things. One of the components of the unit taught the kids about the ways animals influenced the identity of the Native Americans. I joined in the study and found the impact of spirit guides or totems to be very interesting. It was then that turtles entered my life.

During this time, I was pastoring, counseling, being a mom and a foster mom, being a wife, and trying to take care of my home. I knew I needed to slow down, but didn’t know how. And even though I was totally exhausted, I wasn’t sure I would know me if I slowed down. I was the proverbial human doing.

Then, ten years ago when my life took a horrendous downward spiral because of some stupid choices I made, I went back and did some more reading and got reacquainted with my friend the turtle. I realized how terribly out of balance I was. I’m not sure where I was going, but I seemed convinced that the only way to get there was to be racing and overwhelmed. I was so dedicated to this twisted way that I was attempting to function on less than two hours of sleep a night.

To say that I experienced a messy crash and burn, would be a major understatement. I lost a lot in those days, but the hardest thing for me to deal with was the loss of my work because it left me feeling like I had no identity. It was like learning to walk all over again. I worked several part time jobs and then ended up in a factory. I worked hard and found my worth in the approval of my supervisors. When that job came to an end four and a half years ago, I was fortunate to connect with a family that needed help caring for their mother when their father died. So I began providing daily care for an elderly woman with Alzheimer’s disease.

At first I went nearly crazy with the lack of things to do, but over the years I have come to treasure the slower pace and opportunity to be involved with making someone else’s life as pleasant as possible. My job is about being there, not about the things that I necessarily do. When I finally surrendered to that I began to truly enjoy my job.

This morning when I bumped that bruise on my shin again, the surge of pain resulted in my grousing about all the bruises I get and my question about turtles and bruises. So I went on line and asked google to enlighten me on the subject. There were only 8,610,000 hits. Most of the articles had to do with the health and well-being of turtles. “Ask Dr. Science” had some interesting things to say about the metabolism of turtles, but he also mentioned that turtles don’t have to move fast because they don’t have to chase their food and their shell protects them so they don’t have to run away from their enemies.

Now even with all my google reading, I’m still not sure whether a turtle’s longevity is due to his slower pace, but we know that his deliberate plodding along enabled him to win the race. Could it be that what we learned so simply as children might have value for our spiritual lives as adults?

Selah….pause…take a breath…slow down

I have sat with this piece and been frustrated that I couldn’t turn the corner to some amazing “Aha!”

While I was vacuuming the other afternoon, it dawned on me: not every piece has a resolution. This was reinforced during choir practice, of all places. We were working on a new piece for the Easter season. I’m a soprano, and I often tease that I’m a soprano because I like always having the melody. It’s a cruel thing when the composer gives the sopranos the harmony. It’s also not right the way the composer ended the piece we were sight reading. The ending was quite big and high, and then it does the unusual: instead of resolving pleasantly up to wonderful, powerful chord, the sopranos modulate down an awkward half step. Some things just don’t resolve the way think they should, or even want to.

I’ve know this at some level for a very long time. One Easter morning while sitting in church a phrase began rumbling around my mind. I was thinking about jelly beans and Jelly Bean Christians was born. I just haven’t known what to do with. Another one of those intriguing but unused phrases is Hushpuppy Christians. I keep thinking I’m going to come up with some witty writing about those things, but maybe their value is not in the writing but in what they cause me to think, to feel.

I don’t know if turtles get bruises, but since I started thinking about it, I’ve found myself slowing down, being more purposeful in my movements. And surprise: no more bruises from running into things.

And maybe, this wasn’t for you, but for me. But maybe you can relate, so I’ll just leave it here in case you can….

Wondering and Wandering: A Prayer for New Seeing

“Lord, the calendar calls for Christmas. We have traveled this way before. During this Advent season we would see what we have never seen before, accept what we have refused to think, and hear what we need to understand. Be with us in our goings that we may meet you in you coming. Astonish us until we sing “Glory!” and then enable us to live it out with love and peace. In the name of your Incarnate Word, even Jesus Christ. Amen. From The Unsettling Season by Donald J. Shelby

The world we live in refuses to be seen with old eyes, in olden ways. What once might have brought comfort, pales before the high speed gods and goddesses of this age.

The RHWC (red-haired wonder child) and I spent a lot of time cuddling this weekend. I think he was getting sick and I need to hold onto him. He is 6yrs old and turning 7 in a little over a month. Everytime I thought about one of those kids in CT, I wept. I have three grandchildren who just turned 7 or will turn 7 next month. They may be onery, and frustrate their mommies, but they are innocent and I cannot fathom anyone thinking they would need to die.

In addition to hugging, the RHWC and I had a conversation about God. He has only recently begun to be open to matters of faith. Before we started attending our current “turch” (that’s how he pronounces it), he pretty much refused to go. This was very disconcerting to us. We are people of faith and we have prayed long, hard, and often for our children, grandchildren–our families in general. The RHWC turned a corner when he started to develop friends at our “new” church.
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On Saturday evening, we were cutting out paper snowflakes, and the RHWC asked, “Mema, don’t you think it’s weird to believe in God? I mean how can we believe in something or someone we can’t see?” “Oh buddy,” I thought to myself, “that is the million dollar question.” So after a brief discussion of faith, he weary of waxing theologically, and decided to watch some TV instead. The yellow theologian, Spongebob, I believe…

So it has been a week. I’ve been fighting illness and fatigue…please excuse my absense. I did call the doctor’s office, but there must be a lot of sickness going around, because I still haven’t heard back.

I love the prayer we started this post with. It’s one I could easily say everyday. I pray that what astonishes you is the goodness and grace of God and not the seemingly overwhelming power of evil. I pray that not even illness, evil, or fatigue will keep you from seeing his wonder, or finding him in all your comings and goings. Amen.

Wondering and Wandering: Sad

I am the hugest of optimists. I can find the positive in just about any situation. I am naive. I am hopeful. I find good in people. It’s who I am. It’s how I roll. Typically.

But today I’m struggling. Today I’m weighted down with a sadness that is heavy and hurt-full. I mourn with those who mourn. I weep with those who weep. And I pray with those who pray, adding my loud amen to all the prayers for comfort.

Tomorrow morning our choir is going to be singing this song. It just seems to fit today.